no words

[gilana]

My mom called me right before shabbos to tell me that my cousin Joy had died Thursday night. She's not a first cousin -- I'm not actually sure what the relationship is, other than that she's on my dad's side. I was just starting to really get to know her and she was a really amazing person -- positive in the fact of incredible difficulty, funny, sweet, thoughtful, interested in everyone around her. She had been fighting cancer for the second time, after surviving breast cancer many years ago, while also caring for her husband Danny, who just died of a brain tumor in June. I've been connecting some with her son, Barry, in the past year or two -- he's about my age and also a geek, and we email occasionally. So my issue now is, I feel like I should write to him, but what on earth can I possibly say to someone whose parents have both died in less than a year? How can any words possibly be adequate?

No hugs for me, please, but if anyone has any useful thoughts on what I can say, I'd love to hear it. I never wrote when his dad died because I couldn't think of anything to say, and I don't want to make that mistake a second time.

Comments

[bowlingal.livejournal.com]

sad.
here's feedback from when my dad died a year or so ago. actually, i personally lost 7 people within 3 months. so it sucked. but i'm not here for sympathy, i'm just going to share with you what was written to me.


****(this part was what was from my friend to me):*****

I'm so sorry. It seems so sudden. I know that he really meant a lot to
you, and that even though you already said your goodbye, that it's still
really difficult. If it's any comfort, the memories really do live on
and take on a life of their own, if you let them.

Please convey my condolences to your family. Good luck with all that
now needs to be done. I'll be thinking about you all. I'm always
available if you need anything.

Love,

xxxx
--------

anyway...that helped me..