Party etiquette

[gilana]

I'm terrible about remembering to bring something to parties. I never seem to think of it until the last minute, and often there just isn't anyplace reasonable to stop on the way there. But then, I'm always vaguely surprised when people bring donations to parties I host, too. So I'm curious.

A) Would you rather skip a party than arrive empty-handed? Do you only bring something if it's convenient? Do you just assume the host has everything covered? Share!

B) How do you feel when you're the host? Do you notice who brings what? Are you offended if someone doesn't bring anything? Would you prefer people *not* to bring things? Share on that, too!

Comments

[ayelle.livejournal.com]

yeah, this.

If it's a party I've known about and planned to attend well ahead of time (esp. a close friend's party), I'll almost certainly plan and bring something. I may ask "what can I bring?" ahead of time, or just do something, depending on how organized I am. Or I might call on my way and say "Are you missing anything? Anything I can pick up for you?"

If I'm going to something at the last minute, I might regift a bottle of wine or bring an unopened bag of chips or something, unless the host is someone I know won't want whatever it is I have on hand. Oh yeah, and we often will go out of our way to bring soda if we think there isn't likely to be enough, since zendzian doesn't drink (that's along the lines of the host saying "We have x and y, if you want something else, bring it" -- that might also apply to a bottle of wine I've been looking for an excuse to open, or something).

But, if attending was a last-minute decision (or we just failed to plan for anything) and we don't have anything to bring, we'll show up empty-handed -- even if it's a potluck or something, as long as it's people we're close to, when we feel like we'd be wanted regardless of whether we fail to put something together. And that would apply to someone like you attending any party we were throwing, obvy.

As a host, I generally expect that more than a third but less than half of the guests will bring something, and that's cool. I almost never ask people to bring anything; I appreciate it when they do (esp. if it's something awesome), but don't think anything of it when they don't. I am certainly not offended -- nor do I think less of someone who appears to be regifting wine or chips or something, since I do that myself! But if everyone brought something, there'd be WAY too much food/drink/etc. If someone calls on their way and says "Can I pick anything up for you?", chances are very high that there'll be *something* we're short on, and I'll ask for that.

Uh... so... that was pretty much the very long version of what Jenn said. :)