I did it!

[gilana]

I was stressing myself out over auditioning for Theatre@First, so I decided to just forget it and maybe audition another time when I had more time to prepare. But my subconscious somehow managed to time it such that I had dinner at Yoshi's, right nearby, and finished just in time for auditions. So before I could talk myself out of it I went over and did it.

They had a bunch of monologues and poems out for those of us who were unprepared, so I picked one of those, which I think went ok. Then they had me do an improv with two other actors, which I was utterly, completely, totally convinced I couldn't do, and very nearly refused to do, but actually went ok once I got started. They had me read a few scenes with other people; on one of them the director gave some feedback and had us do it again, and I felt like I was able to take the direction and make the changes he was looking for. Anyway, I'm sure the directors won't be fighting over me, but I feel like I've at least got a shot. (Which is scary in its own right... Eek, what if I *do* get a part???) And I feel really good that I had the guts to put myself out there.

Edit: Just got a call asking me back for a callback Thursday. Yay! I don't totally suck! :)

Comments

[dpolicar]

yay, you!
you make it sound like you are a theatre virgin... is that possible?

[gilana]

Does you regain your virginity if you don't do it for long enough? :)

I had a two small parts in high school (2 lines -- "fine" and "yes, sir", in one show!) and one in the SCA, but it's been a very long time. Nothing in over a decade.

[dpolicar]

Yup, that counts as theatre-virginity.
I'm surprised.
I think you'll enjoy it.

[sandhawke.livejournal.com]

Yay! Congratulations on... having the courage to do that!

[miss-chance.livejournal.com]

Yea you! As much for auditioning as for getting the call-back. That's too cool.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I was so pleased to see you there and I can attest that you absolutely, positively failed to suck. Without giving too much away, I will say that positive comments about the improv were made.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Awesome! You can do it :-)

Eek, what if I *do* get a part???

Reading my Lion script last night before bed, I was having a similar attack of self-doubt. "Can I possibly really pull this off? Am I doomed to suck, and fail to do it justice?" *sigh* I think it's up to our directors to tell us if we're not getting what they want, and other than that, we have to trust ourselves.

2 cents on acting

[cristovau.livejournal.com]

Sometime I need to post a list of my acting beliefs. Sometime I need to crystallize them. In any case, congrats on overcoming a major hurtle, auditions. The entry fee to a play is high, and auditions can be painfully daunting. I'm glad these went well.

One of my acting beliefs; performances (and auditions are performances) should always be somewhat scary, no matter how long you've been at it. If you lose the fear, you lose an edge. So, treat it like an amusement park ride and work with the fear.

2 cents dispensed (but I still have a lot of loose change here)

Re: 2 cents on acting

[gilana]

Yeah, I've learned by now that whenever I'm doing any kind of performance -- choral singing, public speaking, dancing, whatever -- I'm just going to feel jittery and sick to my stomach beforehand. As soon as I start performing I'm ok, so I pretty much know to just accept it as part of the experience, but it's not really pleasant.

The problem with your analogy is that I hate amusement park rides. I ride the carousel and the ferris wheel, and I get scared on the latter. I don't enjoy being afraid.

Re: 2 cents on acting

[cristovau.livejournal.com]

The problem with your analogy is that I hate amusement park rides.

It's a pity both amusement rides and pre-stage jitters are unpleasant for you. Still, don't worry about fear. It's natural and the adrenelin helps you focus. Losing that can be more disasterous, and you've proven you can get past it.

It's impressive that you can find the joy of performing beyond the nerves. It must be harder for someone who doesn't enjoy the queasy thrill.