Was Danny Barry's dad? So that makes him an orphan, even if he's an adult--no matter what your relationship with your parents, it's so hard not to be devastated, and feel orphaned, when they do go, no matter what the age. I think to reference this to Barry might be helpful--so many feelings are part of grief (anger, frustration, relief, feeling like a little kid again), and even if we know cognitively that it's ok to have this range of feelings, some of them socially unacceptable, it helps to get "permission" from people.

not that anyone has suggested it, but I really resent what so many people say, "it's for the best," "she's at peace," How the hell do they know after all?

Your truest empathy is the best gift you can give him--not to make it about you, but to connect where you have grieved most and say "I am with you in your pain. You're not alone."

shalom,
M