Party etiquette

[gilana]

I'm terrible about remembering to bring something to parties. I never seem to think of it until the last minute, and often there just isn't anyplace reasonable to stop on the way there. But then, I'm always vaguely surprised when people bring donations to parties I host, too. So I'm curious.

A) Would you rather skip a party than arrive empty-handed? Do you only bring something if it's convenient? Do you just assume the host has everything covered? Share!

B) How do you feel when you're the host? Do you notice who brings what? Are you offended if someone doesn't bring anything? Would you prefer people *not* to bring things? Share on that, too!

Comments

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Me, I rarely bring anything even to potlucks. I am a terrible slacker. ;-)

Conversely, though, I rarely expect anyone to come to a party with anything in hand, unless they are known to be That Sort and/or have a characteristic contribution they regularly bring along.

In the case of a dinner party, I might take someone up on it who says in advance "what can I bring?", but I definitely don't expect people to offer or get offended if they don't. Guests are guests. I'm usually expecting to cover all the important bases myself, and spontaneous "here's a box of donuts" contributions (while certainly the kindness is appreciated) are not necessarily immediately useful. :-) It also gets tricky with kashrut (random bottles of wine, etc.).

Though it certainly varies by community. Going to Shabbat meals on the UWS with mbarr, they have a crowd that do elaborate Shabbat dinners AND lunches together every single week, and it seems that everyone regularly contributes something to each meal. I was guessing that's because some people don't actually take turns hosting, so the burden would fall disproportionately otherwise.