gilana | (no subject)

You know those familiar strangers, people you see often enough on the T or at your favorite coffee shop or lurking in the bushes outside your home that you think you ought to know them, but never speak?

Well, there's a guy I've been seeing around on the T now for years. We used to be on the same train from Porter to Back Bay every day, until I moved closer to Davis; now I see him now and again, but not every day. He's tall and skinny with glasses and long hair and a beard. He looks like someone I ought to know -- if not myself, then surely one of the many geeks or fen in my life must know him. And I've always been curious what the connection would be, but I don't think I look particularly identifiable as a geek, so I don't think he's ever noticed me.

Anyway, today I ran into him at a sandwich shop when I went out for lunch. So I finally went up to him and said "OK, this is weird, but I've been seeing you around for years, and you look like someone I should know, so I thought I'd introduce myself." Turns out he's a violin maker, not a geek, but he did a stint in industrial design, so we have some slight career connection. He has a brother who's involved in the arts, so I mentioned Theatre@First and gave him a card for the show. I'm sure he thought it was all very odd, but at least now after years and years of looking at him and wondering, next time I see him on the T I can just say "Hi, Chris!"

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I've got at least 6 people who I think the same thing about, the "We should know each other" thing. I've thought about doing just what you did. Hearing your story, maybe I just will. :-)

I did it to someone else years ago, and we did turn out to be connected, and became decent friends for a while. Go for it, what's the worst that can happen?

I see people I think are probably friends-of-friends or someone I ought to know around, too. The most interesting case was at a show at MIT when I was really bothered by the sense that I should know the guy sitting in front of me. After the show, he was in the lobby, so I did the "This sounds weird, but I think I know you from somewhere" bit. He told me where he went to college - nope, where he worked - nope, then finally it clicked and I said, "Oh my g*d, you're Dan, and you played the trumpet in our high school band." At that point he remembered me too (french horn), and his girlfriend showed up from the restroom and asked me if it was true that you only had to dial 5 digits of a phone number in our home town (it was indeed true until about 1990 when you had to start using all 7). I hadn't seen this guy in about 12 years I think, and we weren't particularly close in HS, so who knows what will stick with you!

I was at a friend's wedding recently and we were all comparing notes to determine just how we were all connecte, other than through the bride. It was rather humorous to see just how many connections we came up with.

He didn't mention where he makes violins, did he? I'm wondering if he works with Eric at Reuning--they're not far from you, I think.

He didn't mention, but it seems not unlikely -- I think that was direction he pointed, and how many places can there be around there? That would be really funny. See, I *knew* there was a connection! I'll have to ask Jason to ask Eric if he sounds familiar, and to tell him hi from me. Then he'll really be sure I'm stalking him.

Mazel Tov!

I'm all for taking the initiative and proactively introducing myself to people. After all, who can say no to my simple and sweet, "Hi?"

It's like the old saying about asking a girl out. She says yes or she says no. If she says no, it's nothing personal but she either can't make it or can't do it just then. Talking to strangers is no different; as a newspaper reporter, I once learned that everyone had a story to tell about themselves and the better reporters were those who found common ground, however superficial, to dig those stories and share them.

That is pretty freakin awesome. I don't think I could do that. Kerri has worked wonders trying to make me more sociable & so far so good, but I still don't know if I could ever walk up to someone like that.

Yeah, well, like I said, I've been seeing him for years, and until today I couldn't do it either. Today I just happened to be in a particularly good place and found the courage to do it. I couldn't have done it a year ago, or a month ago, or possibly yesterday.

It keeps life interesting. Everyone so often we are just a smidge braver than we were the day before. Sometimes that makes all the difference.

Hey, you know Chris! Cool!