Party etiquette

[gilana]

I'm terrible about remembering to bring something to parties. I never seem to think of it until the last minute, and often there just isn't anyplace reasonable to stop on the way there. But then, I'm always vaguely surprised when people bring donations to parties I host, too. So I'm curious.

A) Would you rather skip a party than arrive empty-handed? Do you only bring something if it's convenient? Do you just assume the host has everything covered? Share!

B) How do you feel when you're the host? Do you notice who brings what? Are you offended if someone doesn't bring anything? Would you prefer people *not* to bring things? Share on that, too!

Comments

[skreeky]

In general, I would really prefer people don't bring anything. I plan my party menus carefully and if I'm running short of anything, it's space to put things. My buffet table is laid out for aesthetics and traffic flow, and I select the serving dishes and utensils in keeping with the party's style.

More food arriving just makes things hard. It means I have to figure out where the hell to put it (messing up my table arrangement), and it means people don't eat the food I put my own effort/money into. And most of the time, they don't take their leftovers and/or dishes and I have to deal with the logistics of returning them. In fact, I currently still have other people's dishes on my kitchen counter, in the way, from 4 weeks ago. Ugly disposable containers in the midst of my white linen and crystal isn't much of an improvement.

Exception: If I *say* it's a potluck.

Exception: Guest has dietary restrictions and is bringing food within those restrictions.

If people feel they must bring something, I try to steer them toward non-perishable beverages, which can be used up gradually as needed or kept for the next party.

That said, when people bring things, I smile and thank them. They mean well.